


In A Small Town

by DupreeWolf



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Deputy, F/M, Fluffy, Gen, I really like this AU, It's an AU, Jake is Sheriff, M/M, Many implied relationships, Pretty much all the trolls and humans, drunkards, not sure if I'll finish, officers, other retarded things, small town, they can just be friendships :), you don't have to look at them that way though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-01-09
Packaged: 2018-01-08 03:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1127574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DupreeWolf/pseuds/DupreeWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheriff Jake English has been in the Skaia police department for more than four years now. Everything almost become routine now. But after the most disastrous thing to ever happen happens to him his routine is shatter to hell and he needs someone to help him pick up his broken pieces.</p><p>edit: don't read this, unless you want to laugh at really bad writing. I wrote this a long time ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you all know when I wrote about Jake I've cut out his asshole parts so he's not so much an asshole anymore. You're welcome :)

December 31, 2012  
Skaia County, 3143 Texan Drive 11:24 PM  
You open the door in front of you. You rejoice that inside is a lot warmer than where you just were, even though it was very dusty. You sneak through, trying to be quiet but your Deputy is making a lot of racket!  
"John, please, could you be a bit quieter?" I ask him and look back to see he's not even the bit concerned.  
"What? It's not like they don't already know we're coming. We're not sneaking up on anyone ya know?" He shrugs exasperatedly, saying aloud what you were feeling.  
You roll your eyes and open the door that goes to the social room, and walk through with John behind you.  
Your name is Jake English and you've been in the Skaia County Police Department for four years. Nothing exciting has happened in Skaia since Mr. Hussie died, thirteen years ago. Now you're just following old routine and it gets tiresome, especially for your twenty-two year old cousin who you work with.  
But hey, you've been doing this a lot longer than him and your still at least acting the part!  
Either way, you've been coming to this bar every Tuesday for the last four years and you think you'll be coming for the rest of your life too. It probably wouldn't be as bad if you were just coming in for a drink but there's always trouble in this bar, trouble named-  
"Oh shit! It's the fuzz, I better skedaddle, girls. I'll see you later, Trix."  
Dirk Strider.  
You see him across the room, sitting with plenty of people around him waiting to hear his drunken stories that get wilder and wilder each times he tells it. He sees you across the room and exclaims (just like he does every time) and looks at you with dilated eye (just like every time) and not a single gelled hair is out of place (just like always).  
"Hello, Mr. Strider, what seems to be the problem this time?" You ask politely.  
"You know, Sheriff English, I've got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one."  
Yes, he's very drunk today.  
You turn to face one of the bartenders, the same one that calls you every Tuesday to inform you of Dirk. She's called your office so many times you just gave her your personal phone number. She looks away from Dirk and looks at you with her blind eyes hidden by glasses, a small grin on her face as she leaned on the counter with her arm.  
"Harassing the bar staff again?"  
"Mmmnope!" She cackles.  
"Harassing customers?" She just shakes her short auburn hair at you. "Being an overall nuisance?"  
She grins widely now, "He's been here since nine o' clock."  
"Well that's not so bad-"  
"In the morning."  
"Oh ..." Your eyes widen and turn back to Dirk. "A-alright, Mr. Strider, time to head on home. You've been here for way too long."  
"Awww, but Mr. Police Officer, it's New Years Eve. Can't I go passed my bed time just a little this year?" He asks in a pouty voice, all the while not conveying anything on his face. "After all, I am a big boy this year." He wiggles an eyebrow at you.  
More like a big pain in the-  
"John! Are you drinking alcohol while on the job?" You look at him scandalized as he takes a blue drink from Terezi.  
"But Jake, it does haven't have alcohol!" He argues but you frown at the blind girl (even though she can't see it).  
"Rezi, are you trying to intoxicate my Deputy?"  
"Mmmyes..." She grins widely at you and you roll your eyes (though she can't see that either).  
You just frown at her and yank your Deputy from her grasp. Then you march over to Strider, take his left arm through your right and pull them both out the tavern's door.  
You showed them who had all the mangrit!  
"Come 'on, Jake! It was just a blue soda poured into a shot glass!"  
"No, that's just what she told you ... or just what you're telling me!"  
"Hey, English, give the kid a break will ya?"  
"Strider please stay out of this-Wait, why are you in the driver's seat? Get in the back!"  
"Nah, man I swear to drunk I'm not god! Wait, that came out wrong ..."  
You begin to see red. Today just doesn't seem to be your day and if Strider keeps acting like this he just might end up being the outlet for all your frustration.  
"Jake chill," John tells you, resting a hand on your shoulder. "I'll sit in the back. Just scoot him over from the driver's seat."  
You relax your shoulders and look down, realizing you had been clenching your fist. 'Breath in, breath out, relax, calm down' you tell yourself as you round about to the driver's seat of the car and open the door.  
"Hey there pretty lady! Need a ride?"  
You shove Dirk into the passenger seat ... as hard as you can possibly shove him. You hear him grunt then slide into the driver's seat, shutting your door and putting on your seat belt. You inwardly grin at Dirk looking dazed in the passenger seat as if he hadn't known what hit him.  
Yes, you have all the man grit, all of it!  
"I don't wanna go home! Roxy gonna be pissier than a black woman walking to the grocery store in a thong ... with all the grace of a hippo who had a baby with Tavros, a Tippo. Imagine that little piece of shit. Sitting in a giant wheel chair the size of Alaska and smelling like beans and cheese all the time."  
"Oh please, Roxy will most likely be smashed drunk, so if anyone has the grace of a hippo it would be her." You grumble back at him, driving along the street.  
Finally you reach his house and you jump out of the car quicker than you can say "Fiddle faddle!" and rush up to the door, leaving John to situate Dirk out of the car. The whole way up to his house he continued telling you dirty pick-up lines, some that were so naughty they made you turn red.  
You ring the doorbell and throw your mind out of the gutter.  
"Hey Sheriff English, been waitin' for ya," Dave answers the door and greets you with his normal emotionless stare behind dark glasses. "Where's Lord Dipshit of the Fruity Asshole Tavern?"  
"He's, um, coming along. So uh, where's Roxy?"  
"Oh, you know, getting drunk off her ass like every New Years Eve ... and by every New Years I mean everyday," He shrugs indifferently. "Hey, watch out-"  
Suddenly you feel weigh on your waist.  
Then suddenly you feel you face shoved up the brick of the house.  
"Oh shit, sorry bro," Dirk mumbles from around your waist. "Trippin' like a bitch."  
"Nice tumble there, Jennifer Lawrence," Dave grumbles to his brother and helps you pick Dirk up. "But maybe if you got a smaller dress you wouldn't be trippin' on it. And by dress I meant alcohol."  
"Jesus dick, Dave," Dirk snared back. "I'm drunk as shit and can still be awesomer than you.   
"Dirk, you drunk, go home," You nudge him through the door. He whines, groans, and makes possibly every childish noise under the sun but reluctantly goes in. Dave give you a quick thank you, then talks to John a bit about their plans with friends later. Then you leave back to the station and back to your home where your loving wife is waiting for you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake goes home and PLOT TWIST something actually fucking happens. And he watches Weekend At Bernie's. I watched that show once and only *AFTER* I watched it did I realize it was the movie Jake was always talking about. It was decent. I mean compare to other 80's movies it was average but it was pretty good if you're drawing or something and don't want an AMAZING show on that would distract you the whole time. Basically these two guys go to their boss's house (Bernie's house) only to find out that he's dead but only they know he is dead and everyone thinks he's alive. It's p funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Dirk so much. Just wanted ya'll to know that. Carry on.

January 1, 2013

Skaia County, 121 Xenon Road 1:46 AM

 

Recently you haven't been able to see your wife much. You're at work when she's usually home and she's gone when your home. You barely even got to see each other on Christmas, let along New Years. It's saddens you but you know she's been trying hard to get her books published, and she's always writing new ones, and she very dearly loves her job as a librarian so you don't say anything. But you still hug her before you go to work, give her a kiss on the cheek, and try to be a bit romantic every now and then. But you still feel as if you are drifting apart.

And when you get home on New Year Eve night (New Year's morning?) you know something is wrong.

Standing in the middle of your living room is Aranea herself, holding a suitcase on each side of her.

"Darling, what's going on?" You ask, gesturing to her suitcases.

"Jake, I'm leaving."

"Oh? For where? What's going on? It must have been urgent seeing as you're packing up on such short notice-"

"It's not short notice, Jake," She whispers, closing her eyes behind her white glasses. She sighs and walks toward you, pulling her bags along with her. "I've made a deal on one of my books in New York. I'm moving there."

"Areana, why? When are you going to be back?" You ask with a million more questions running through your head. You were just so shocked. How come she only now told you? This was great news! Fantastic news that her book is being published! So why is she-

"I'm not coming back," She answered and your eyes grew wide. "Look, Jake, I love you but I can't handle being the Sheriff's wife anymore. We never see each other any more since your always off playing hero. I just know I deserve more."

"Aranea! Please! I'll give you more I promise!" You beg, taking one of her pale hands into your's. "I'll quit my job, I'll get a better one! One where I have more off time to stay home and be with you, I promise! J-just don't leave me, Aranea. I love you."

_Slap!_

"No, Jake, we _used_ to be in love," She cried. "Now you're only in love with your job! And if I'm going to be second best in your eyes then I'd rather not be here at all!"

And with that she left, right out of your house, out of the town, and out of your life.

 

*THE NEXT DAY*

 

You call in sick. You just can't face people today. You bet some people already know and are talking about it. John has called you a couple of times asking how you are and why you missed work today but you just answered with one worded replies or ignored him.

At eight o' clock at night you decide to go grocery shopping.

For ice cream.

And some movies from Redbox.

You haven't slept at all since Aranea left so your hoping you could maybe give yourself a sugery coma tonight and pass out on the couch.

You're going up and down the isles, looking at mexican food because you never know when you want a burrito until you want it so you might as well stock up on them so you'll be ready when you do. You grab ten Super Soper Surritos. The company must have wanted all of the words to start with S, other than that they're still burritos ... you think.

You put back five.

Then you change your mind when a sudden craving for burritos suddenly HAPPENS and you grab eight more.

Now you have four movies, thirteen burritos, and you look for the ice cream in the freezer section. You stand there for ten minutes trying to decide between Orange Cream Popscicle and R4INBOW TR34T. But then the cashier starts to creep you out and you decide you've been in the Grocery Store long enough.

"Hey-o," You greet the strange man at the counter (after realizing he was the only one there) and set your goods down.

"Hello my motherfuckin' law enforcing friend. What can I do for you on this very miraculous night?" He says with a deep voice.

"Oh it is a nice night isn't it?" You say awkwardly. "Um, I'd just like to buy these please."

"Okay then my bluecoat-ed buddy," He says and takes you things, ringing them up for you. You pay him and rush out of the store as quick as possible, wanting to get home (and away from there) asap!

You drive away feeling quite drained and tired. You really need some sleep. You continue to drive in a bleary and dreadful fashion.

That is until you headlight spot something (or someone) in the distance. You slow your car down until you are parked next to the person and you open your door.

Dirk-fucking-Strider.

Your so pissed you slam your door shut, a mean ass glower on your face. You don't ever remember being this pissed though it may slightly be caused by your sorrow from earlier.

But your still pretty pissed.

"Goddammit, Dirk you better have a bloody good reason-"

And all that anger that dwelled in you moments before drained out of you as soon as you saw Dirk's face.

His glasses were broken, his eyes were bruised, and blood seemed to be dripping from his nose.

"Dirk," You say softly, slowly going to help him up. He shies away from you as if he doesn't want to be touched or seen. You squat down and put a hand on his shoulder. "Dirk are you okay? Wait, why am I asking? Of course you're not. Come on now, chap, let's get you fixed up."

With a lot of coaxing and the promise of shitty burritos, you finally got Dirk to get in your truck. Then you both awkwardly drove home, your home.

You grabbed your groceries and Dirk gives you a questioning look but doesn't say anything, just helps you by grabbing a bag.

"So, what happened tonight, Dirk?" You ask him while putting two burritos in your microwave. Then you grabbed two of your buckets of ice cream (in the end you picked out three buckets of ice cream), two spoons, and met Dirk on the couch.

"Woah there Trixie, didn't know this was a pity party," Dirk said, eyeing the ice cream and stack of movies (one of which was coming on right now) and ignoring your question. "What did your boyfriend dump you for a prettier, more popular girl?" You try to shut him up with shoving the ice cream and spoon in his face but he continues. "Speaking of boyfriends, where is your wife anyways?"

You stiffen, because in a way that's kind of what did happen. Though your wife wasn't you boyfriend and she didn't leave for a girl (let alone a prettier, more popular one) but she did leave for a better life. One without you. Thinking like this makes a heavy weight weigh on you and it's almost like you can feel your heart crumbling.

Dirks still waiting for you to answer but it seems pretty obvious that you're not.

When he realizes that, the first emotion you have ever seen on him past his face: shock. All you've ever seen on Dirk was his normal apathetic (until seeing him cry but that doesn't count) but upon realizing that, yes this did have something to do with your wife, his face looked shocked.

"Jake, what happened with Aranea?"

"She's ... left."

"Why?"

"For better things."

He doesn't bother you after that, probably agreeing that Aranea was a lot better off without you. But he scoots closer to you and sets a blanket in both of your laps and turns on the movie. The movie is Weekend At Barnie's. You _love_ this movie. He opens your ice cream for you and walks to the microwave, heating up something and comes back with a plate full of what looks like green burritos.

"Are burritos suppose to be green?" You ask.

"No," He answers.

"So are these edible?"

He picks one up and looks at it. "Probably not," He shrugs and takes a bite out of it.

"Whatever you say, mate," You roll your eyes and pick up your own burrito as you relax into the couch, pulling the blanket closer, and losing yourself into your movie.


End file.
